Cool Morning - edit, title change

[dukealien]

I've been enjoying this poem and I am loving this edit, just right. My one little nit left is below.

Cool Morning


This morning I have lit a charming fire
with gas and electricity, but still
it flames in orange, blue, and saffron-gold
on logs of porcelain, with cinder screen
of glass; it might as well be video
but emanating heat and captive threat.

For as I go about my breakfast rounds– "For" sounds stiff to me and I don't see why you need it.
the brewing, microwaving, counting pills–
that little blaze arrests my passing gaze
each time I turn my head and see it burn.
We humans have made fire our eager slave
like nuclear, but dare not let it thrive.
Nice slave/thrive, gives the satisfaction of a couplet without an actual rhyme. 

original version;

A Lighting


Cool morning.  I have lit a merry fire
with gas and electricity, but still
it flames in saffron, blue and petal-white
on logs of porcelain, with cinder screen
of glass; it might as well be video
but that it emanates faint heat and threat.

For as I go about my breakfast rounds–
the brewing, microwaving, counting pills–
it catches at my eye each time I turn
across a line of sight including it.
We humans have made fire our willing slave
like nuclear, but dare not let it thrive.

Thanks for posting it and making such good use of bryn's and Bunx's critiques.

"Then" would work and sound less highfalutin, but loses the cause-effect factor.  I'll think about it...

(And thanks for the read.)