New Dawn edit 2

[JohnS]

Hi, John, this reads beautifully and gives a real sense of time and place. Some notes:

When the morning sun broke through
the smoke from the cooking fires Something is a little clunky here, possibly a descriptor before cooking, breakfast, dying, banked, something.
which lay like a blanket over the township,
the skyline of distant Johannesburg
glowed like molten gold.
Strong images throughout S1.

Daniel stepped down from the bus,
and joined a line that snaked sinuously "snaked sinuously" seems a little predictable if not cliched, I'm on the fence with it, it's "sinuously" that's not sitting quite right.
towards the tin-roofed school house
sitting below the kopje,
in a field more dirt than grass.
Great last line, again strong images throughout.

The line shimmied forward, Love "the line shimmied".
as people sang and toyi-toyied,
bare feet slapping the hard-packed earth. I can hear it.
For hour after hour it moved,
determined,
unstoppable,
inevitable.
The list suits the long wait.

A sign above the door - polling station. Not a fan of the dash, possibly read, declared, announced or something stronger.
Daniel made his choice.
A cross - so simple to make,
so hard to win the right to make.

After, Daniel stood on the school house steps,
raised his arms and cried,
Amandla! (power)
And those in the line responded,
Awethu! (to us)
I'd like the poem to end here in strength, maybe add the date to the title.

It was April 26, 1994.

So, i really had no recommendations at first, I just wanted to make sure 'shimmied" didn't get cut.
It's very effective as is, thanks for the read.

Thank, Ella. I think I'll just delete "sinuously", "snaked" can stand on its own.
Good suggestion to end at Awethu, the title could be that date.