Tock - edit

[milo]

edit;

Have you ever walked into a room
or simply found yourself alone in one,
unable to remember why you’re there
or what it was you were supposed to do?

But then an inkling comes and you recall
a reason you’d have gone there and a smile
of self-congratulation forms until
you recollect that she should be there, too.

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@RiverNotch - Thanks for the good critique.  I've tried to respond to each of your points (including a less sharp second turn)... except the one about the first line.

This is something I find myself doing from time to time in IP:  going back over the first line and finding that first unstressed syllable is just filler no matter what I do with it.  So I just leave it off and begin on the downbeat.  Conversationally, someone would naturally begin with "So" or "Well" or "Hey!" as an opening gambit, but it seems wrong in print.  A salesman would, of course, insert his interlocutor's name there.

If it's a serious flaw, I'll be happy to reconsider.

It is perfectly acceptable in IP - used by every one of the past masters and it even has a name - "headless IP"