04-04-2026, 01:03 AM
Hello MIC-
The best part of this poem, for me, is your use of near rhymes:
summer / faster
world / blurred
Not sure where this poem intended to take me, but I didn't get there. It is full of questionable platitudes. The broad brush you use could be more specific. You presume to know things about "they" , yet I don't know how, or who "they" are even supposed to be, as the generic youth is far too general:
They would make it to the end and,
having won the world,
would stare up at unholy God
and let their eyes be blurred.
They would grow beyond their skin,
let ego push them tall,
The best part of this poem, for me, is your use of near rhymes:
summer / faster
world / blurred
Not sure where this poem intended to take me, but I didn't get there. It is full of questionable platitudes. The broad brush you use could be more specific. You presume to know things about "they" , yet I don't know how, or who "they" are even supposed to be, as the generic youth is far too general:
They would make it to the end and,
having won the world,
would stare up at unholy God
and let their eyes be blurred.
They would grow beyond their skin,
let ego push them tall,