I Am Still Here

[Surfpup]

I was sitting in my chair,

Coding traffic with great care,

Lines of logic, clean and tight,

Trying hard to get it right.

.

Then a pounding filled my head,

Pain that spread and quickly led

To a message sent in fear—

“It hurts badly!” loud and clear.

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In the bathroom, feeling weak,

Couldn’t stand or even speak,

Everything began to fade…

Then I slipped into the shade.

.

Woke up in a hospital room,

Mind surrounded, thick with gloom,

Couldn’t think or understand,

Just “yes” or “no” at each command

.

Casey standing there in tears,

Holding on through all her fears,

Once so close, a love so true…

Now I didn’t know what to do.

.

I’m still here, I’m still strong,

Even when it feels all wrong,

Piece by piece, day by day,

finding my way back.

.

Through the loss and through the pain,

I will build my life again,

Step by step, patiently—

Time will shape the best of me.

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Months went by—so slow, so long,

Memories faded, slipped from song,

Even emails drifted away,

Lost and gone from yesterday.

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Tried to ride a horse one day,

Helpers guiding all the way,

But the ground felt rough, unclear,

Balance filled my mind with fear.

So I stopped and stepped aside,

Left that path I could not ride.

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Trips to Bryn Mawr, long and far,

Riding there inside a car,

Hours lost in traffic lines,

Still I showed up every time.

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Speech and movement, day by day,

Slowly finding words to say,

Arms once numb began to try,

Reaching out and asking why.

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I’m still here, I’m still strong,

Even when it feels all wrong,

Piece by piece, day by day,

finding my way back.

.

Through the loss and through the pain,

I will build my life again,

Step by step, patiently—

Time will shape the best of me.

.

Anyways, I travel there,

Speech therapy with patient care,

Still it’s hard from day to day,

Writing words won’t come my way.

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Even now it feels so tough,

Simple lines are still enough,

I don’t like it, truth be told,

Still I write—both brave and bold.

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I need help with my right arm,

It won’t feel or stay from harm,

Fingers numb and hard to move,

Hard to guide or even prove.

.

There’s a brace to keep it straight,

Or it tightens—something I hate,

But I had a surgery done,

Now it opens—progress won!

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Still no feeling in my hand,

But I’m learning where I stand,

Even if it’s not the same,

I keep going just the same.

.

I’m still here, I’m still strong,

Even when it feels all wrong,

Piece by piece, day by day,

finding my way back.

.

Through the loss and through the pain,

I will build my life again,

Step by step, patiently—

Time will shape the best of me.

.

Exercise helps me improve,

Every step, I slowly move,

Building strength bit by bit,

Even when I don’t like it.

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Then a helper comes to play,

Board games brighten up the day,

“Five Crowns” is one I know,

Sometimes I win—and watch it glow.

.

There’s a brace upon my leg,

Helping every step I take,

Had a surgery on my foot,

So I could stand and put my weight.

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Now I walk, though not the same,

Balance slightly off in frame,

Running’s something in the past…

But I’m moving—growing fast.

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Nowadays, I write my poems again,

And I love music—four thousand five hundred and ten!

I still enjoy video games, though slow,

Playing one-handed, yet I go!

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Math and words were hard to find,

Lost somewhere inside my mind,

Writing felt so far away,

Still I tried it anyway.

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Coding gave me something true,

Terraria felt fresh and new,

Changed the code and made it mine,

Built my world one line at a time.

.

I’m still here, I’m still strong,

Even when it feels all wrong,

Piece by piece, day by day,

finding my way back.

.

Through the loss and through the pain,

I will build my life again,

No matter how long it may be—

Time will tell… and I’ll be me.