03-11-2026, 10:35 AM
Hi. I can think of two ways you can shorten your poem without cutting anything yet, if you think that would improve it.
You've got an awful lot of white space, have you tried organizing it into strophes? Then the reader can absorb a series of "moves" at once.
Another option is combining some lines. You would lose some breaks so you would have to do it carefully but many of your lines are pretty short so it might move the read along in a more appealing way.
If it was my poem I would try each option, you can always go back if you don't like it but for me those types of exercises help me learn more about my own piece, time well spent.
You've got an awful lot of white space, have you tried organizing it into strophes? Then the reader can absorb a series of "moves" at once.
Another option is combining some lines. You would lose some breaks so you would have to do it carefully but many of your lines are pretty short so it might move the read along in a more appealing way.
If it was my poem I would try each option, you can always go back if you don't like it but for me those types of exercises help me learn more about my own piece, time well spent.