fate of the poet

[ilovewomenandbeer]

I like the dark atmosphere you build throughout the sequence, especially with the recurring sun and fire imagery. Some of the sensory moments work really well and feel very close to a haiku style i would like to think. The image in “hot sun burns my lungs,” but you might experiment with tightening it a bit to make the language sharper. Something like “burning sun, scorching lungs.” Also i think if you explain less and emotionally, you can let the imagery carry the emotion instead of explaining it.