03-08-2026, 09:42 AM
Hello! Thank you very much for your feedback. It actually helped me with some of my other poems, and I’m not one to take it to heart. I completely agree with you now reading your points.
The next day, I realized that I used too much description. Words like “bitter,” “death,” “smoky,” and “burnt” were overkill. My goal was to make the sheriff seem like an outlaw at first by making the poem sound aggressive. So, when he is revealed to be a sheriff, it will have more shock value. I can probably rewrite that section to better convey that message without necessarily describing him as a bad guy.
I also appreciate your insight on saying that it’s easy for a fortune teller to tell the future. However, I think I can do a better message by comparing the sheriff’s sleeping intuition to a fortune teller’s vision.
Additionally, i’ll work on trying to do better at expanding and condensing my imagery. Sometimes, I have too many ideas to put into a line, and I fixed it in poems I wrote today. I think I’ll get better in time, and I think now, looking at others’ poems, can help me become a better poet.
The next day, I realized that I used too much description. Words like “bitter,” “death,” “smoky,” and “burnt” were overkill. My goal was to make the sheriff seem like an outlaw at first by making the poem sound aggressive. So, when he is revealed to be a sheriff, it will have more shock value. I can probably rewrite that section to better convey that message without necessarily describing him as a bad guy.
I also appreciate your insight on saying that it’s easy for a fortune teller to tell the future. However, I think I can do a better message by comparing the sheriff’s sleeping intuition to a fortune teller’s vision.
Additionally, i’ll work on trying to do better at expanding and condensing my imagery. Sometimes, I have too many ideas to put into a line, and I fixed it in poems I wrote today. I think I’ll get better in time, and I think now, looking at others’ poems, can help me become a better poet.