Behind the Curtain

[josie_loves_poems]

Thanks for reading - I would appreciate any and all comments! I wrote this after thinking about all the opportunities I've missed because of my fear of not being as good as others when I was younger. Though I am a lot more confident now, this poem helped me express that regret.


Behind the curtain I hear,
Laugh and cough, from clap to cheer.
“O God, what terror!" I cry.
But still I swallow my fear.
i'm wondering about the "swallow my fear" because that implies that you are ready to go and doesn't reflect the rest of the piece, and i feel it's an important line where you could foreshadow or play around with something else!

“Ready?” Asks the lady, with glasses too square.  
Her jumper’s all worn, but she wouldn't care.
Shake head, then turn, 
“I’ll go when it's one. I promise, I swear.”

“Together.” Says the boy, with thin black hair.
His voice always breaks, but he wouldn't care.
Shake head, then turn,
“Maybe at two. I promise, I swear.”
i love how these follow the same pattern, i think it's very clever and tells a story a bit, which is personally one of my favorite parts of poetry!

“Please.” Moans the woman, who stumbles in line.
She has my eyes, my lips, but cracked by time.
One cheek stained, too sad is her smile,
“My dear, please go. In at least, a little while.”
assuming this is about your mother, i love this part! so beautiful and great imagery

At last, it’s three. I walk on, head high.
I look up, my arms fly, like stars in the sky.
But I hear a clock tick, and I wanted a roar.
The chairs are disarrayed, there's litter on the floor.
THIS imagery is even better!! love this part, but i'm trying to picture the second line. is it part of the performance? making that clearer within the line might help keep your reader oriented before the reveal.

“You promised, you swore!” "Who’s there?" I call.
But I turn around only
To a stage, and no more.
i'm not entirely sure who's saying the first quote, because if it were the protaganist it doesn't make very much sense. clarifying that (i promised, i swore) or adding a different line i think would make more sense.
i love this poem!!! so expressive and tells a great story.