02-28-2026, 04:28 AM
Thanks wasellajam, the feedback is much appreciated! I bolded a second pass at the trouble section below, definitely benefits from more clarity, and it let's me carry the prism metaphor more cohesively in that stanza.
Plainly
Presentations in polite phrases
Pointing, per prolonged prognostication,
To public problems
Or, perhaps, plain, prosaic pride
Plaguing a populace
Via pithy profundity performance
Pills, per prideful prescription
Pressure-cooked pursuing pinnacles of personhood
But plaque-filled, and puddle-deep
Preachily screeching personal politics
Purpose-built, passive, performative shit
Per contra
Putting aside pleasant phrase-play
Words woven in crystalline lattices
Prismatic in both directions,
Internally transformative
Hopefully meaningful
Focusing down what is
To insistent heat that thaws frozen attitudes
Provoking a thought that would not be
That is my deep-well reason
Plain personal purpose
Of poetry
Plainly
Presentations in polite phrases
Pointing, per prolonged prognostication,
To public problems
Or, perhaps, plain, prosaic pride
Plaguing a populace
Via pithy profundity performance
Pills, per prideful prescription
Pressure-cooked pursuing pinnacles of personhood
But plaque-filled, and puddle-deep
Preachily screeching personal politics
Purpose-built, passive, performative shit
Per contra
Putting aside pleasant phrase-play
Words woven in crystalline lattices
Prismatic in both directions,
Internally transformative
Hopefully meaningful
Focusing down what is
To insistent heat that thaws frozen attitudes
Provoking a thought that would not be
That is my deep-well reason
Plain personal purpose
Of poetry

