02-28-2026, 12:53 AM
Hey Smiley! This was an interesting read for sure! I liked the "waiting for inspiration... I want world peace, that's all" I feel that on a deep level as a poet. Having grand ideas that feel simple yet impossibly out of reach. I think one thought would be to either elevate the ironic tone, or elevate the playful nature of what's going on? It feels either forcibly playful while masking a deeper thought, or kind of simplifying something more complex. Especially the second verse? I think either the tension needs to be built up more strongly for a release of a solution, or the problem needs to narrowed in scope. Otherwise it feels a little banal? But the little ending line is definitely a good surprise punch.