Silver Lining

[wasellajam]

Just a lil short poem that i wrote to test the waters of this forum
I have written some poems already but id just like to post smth simple first

Silver lining

today is a cloudy day

the sun is obscured
the world is tinted gray
but i stay inside anyways

the stars are covered
dimming the night sky
but i was sleeping anyways

:edit: pretty new to this so messed up abit of formatting


I tired improving it. hopefully its better

Silver Lining

yesterday was a sunny day

the sky was void of clouds
sunbeams flooding the nearby fields
but i was going home anyways

today was a cloudy day

cool crisp air like a blanket
the world was tinted grey
but i was staying inside anyways

tonight is a rainy night

dripping clouds dissolve
unveiling the sparkling stars

tucked in my sheets
tossing and turning

but i was sleeping anyways

Now I'm getting a clear feeling of "The world goes on without me, do I matter?"
The language is lovely, "dripping clouds dissolve"

Also, it's okay to bump a thread to announce a new edit if you are looking for addition crit.

thanks for the comments

how do i bump a thread? in other platforms i often just reply to the message 
i dont create a new thread and link this old one or something right?

You did put your edit where we prefer it, in the OP, just it's best on top of the old one so it's the first thing readers see. Then you can just do a new reply on this thread saying you've put an edit up and welcome further feedback, that will put this thread on top of the main page list.