Weakened

[alonso ramoran]

Magpie,

Interesting read. I appreciate the symmetry of the first 2 stanzas. It intentionally reinforces the juxtaposition you have between 2 types of destruction. Something I'm noticing is that you have this stanza about a sort of manmade destruction before the stanza about natural destruction, which makes me wonder if the N is illustrating the natural repercussions of an economic model of endless expansion and consumption. So be it if that is a stretch. More comments below.

Weakened I think the title is fine, but I do wonder if something more evocative can be used

When the workmen descended
upon the spruce and pine
to protect the electric
pylons they cut a gateway
dissecting the forest,
a slice that severed ancient
limbs leaving a corridor
of sanitised destruction. Could "sterilised" be a better fit?

When the storm descended
to the loch and through the glen Could this be reworked as "upon the loch and glen"? It would mirror S1L2 in an interesting way I think
it shook the doors centuries old
and rattled the roots of noble
firs and toppled sycamores,
a swathe that ripped ancient Swathe trips me up a bit. It is probably being used in the same way a scythe can leave a swathe of mown grass, but here it is used as a verb
limbs leaving a corridor
of natural destruction.

Now I clamber fallen
oak where we once laughed. The (artificial) division between people and nature is reconciled in the poem's last 2 lines

Thank you for sharing.