02-20-2026, 07:14 PM
(02-20-2026, 07:29 AM)Smiley Wrote: Im sitting alone at homeHi, Smiley, good to see you expanding your poetry.
Thinking of a poem
Tryin to come up with something good
I want to be understood
So I search I align and allow
For inspiration to come to me but i dont know how
Touching something sacred and reaching for the soul
That is my point that Is my goal
Not lonely thou i am alone
Cuz we are all connected we are all one
So lets get it good lets have some fun
And melt like butter in the sun
Create and share
About that which we care
Im thinking world peace
Arriving with ease
The first four lines have a pleasant, consistent meter but not much meaning for me. The meter seems to get more careless is the next four lines but not completely abandoned. Now you're expressing something even if it's a bit hokey. "That is my point that Is my goal" is just empty, seems there only for rhyme's sake. Same problem with the last line, arriving at world peace with ease? Not in the world I see. Is it fun to melt like butter in the sun? Think about what the words mean.
Im is always I'm (I am). Although, because. Also, please give some thought to capitalization and punctuation, they should be conscious choices.
Here's a link to some Poetry Tips, keep at it!


