love, tolerance, and harm
#6
Well hello shady-
the crit I'll offer is by subtraction, leaving parts I found interesting, without changing a word:


you shrink smaller
soften a bit

a hard-boiled egg, shell on.
i can not crack you open

you are magical--
a miraculous success

i am unrecognizable
the woman i am today

i hope you don't grow cold
in my shadow

in the end your faults, my anger,
your shame, my bitterness

kills it
kills.
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Messages In This Thread
love, tolerance, and harm - by shady - 02-03-2026, 02:23 PM
RE: love, tolerance, and harm - by Fruitiper - 02-03-2026, 06:53 PM
RE: love, tolerance, and harm - by wasellajam - 02-03-2026, 08:18 PM
RE: love, tolerance, and harm - by Magpie - 02-04-2026, 06:14 AM
RE: love, tolerance, and harm - by jonvandalen - 02-19-2026, 12:24 AM
RE: love, tolerance, and harm - by Mark A Becker - 02-20-2026, 02:47 AM
RE: love, tolerance, and harm - by JohnS - 02-22-2026, 06:49 PM



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