Staying Warm

[JohnS]

Hi. First thread on here. I've been trying to write poetry for a while, but really most of it ends up more like aphorism. I took one such attempt and tried to make it more poetic by making it longer, more metric (is that the right word for having meter?), and tried to fit in a few rhymes. I'd definitely appreciate feedback on those aspects as well as the poem's concept, theming, and respective execution thereof. Thanks in advance!


Staying Warm

Wet and cold and hungry
My sleeves and collar torn
From gripping doubt and mis'ry
I peacef'lly slip come morn

Moonlight in your smile
Your eyes a starry host
Tender warmth of your embrace
Brings dawn o'er hill to coast

The moon and stars become my friends
And whisper many things
And when to them my ear I lend
I jump and dance and sing

So in the rain I have my fun
And think of you, my sun

Hi Anima,
I'm new to poetry so bear that in mind. I need to critique so I can post.

I've written a lot of song lyrics, so if this were a song I'd say the rhyme scheme breaks down in verse 2. 
Also, it sounds old fashioned and there is also a bit of Yoda speak in there to force a rhyme. 
Finally, the end rhymes are very basic, near rhymes would be more interesting. However, this may be appropriate for a sonnet.
Write on!