Proof that Once She Was a Mermaid

[milo]

New to poetry, usually write prose and song lyrics, so bear that in mind.

I don't think the rhyme scheme is a problem, it's very obvious in the first verse (strophe), xaxa, but actually maintains it throughout with near rhymes. If you change the enjambment to include "secrets" on the line above, and add "or" before fears it helps.

I'm not sure the penultimate strophe adds much, but I realise you're trying to add evidence of mermaidliness.

Hope some of this helps.

Hello

Thank you for reading and commenting

This is the second comment on the penultimate strophe so I will consider it.



Thanks again for reading and commenting.