Proof that Once She Was a Mermaid

[JohnS]

New to poetry, usually write prose and song lyrics, so bear that in mind.

I don't think the rhyme scheme is a problem, it's very obvious in the first verse (strophe), xaxa, but actually maintains it throughout with near rhymes. If you change the enjambment to include "secrets" on the line above, and add "or" before fears it helps.

I'm not sure the penultimate strophe adds much, but I realise you're trying to add evidence of mermaidliness.

Hope some of this helps.