I wish

[Anima]

I wish I were here
The way they are
Having fun with beer under the sun
So I take another one and smile
But it is like I am somewhere behind

I wish I were here
The way they see me
A pretty face and friendly eyes
So many lucky guys they say
But none can reach my heart

Why am I somewhere else
Deep inside where I cannot escape
From the heavy voice that squeezes me
My eyes my dreams my hopes
As if I am not here

The feeling of loneliness while in a crowd definitely makes for good poetry material. You do a good job getting that feeling across. “A pretty face and friendly eyes…” “But none can reach my heart.” You bring out the feeling of being with friends who don’t really know you and having to pretend you enjoy it. What I like most is the nuance added by the first two lines of the second stanza:
“I wish I were here
The way they they see me”

It takes the situation out of slightly contrived “no one gets me ?” territory into something more unique. The narrator doesn’t revel in or glorify the fact that they are not understood, nor do they bear a grudge against their friends for not understanding them. Rather, the narrator is simply lamenting the discord between the way they really feel, the happy act they have to put on, and their friends’ genuine happiness. Lines two through four of the last stanza make me think the narrator wants to share their inner self but can’t escape the fear that they won’t be accepted for who they really are — that’s what I’m interpreting “the heavy voice that squeezes me” to mean.

I like this poem. The meter feels a little choppy at points (the last three lines of the first stanza in particular). And “Having fun with beer under the sun” feels a littleeee weak, but these are nitpicks in the grand scheme of things. Thanks for sharing!