Wordless

[wasellajam]

Hi, I'm enjoying this, so much working so well, a few notes:

Wordless

I don’t know the names of plants
which makes it difficult to describe
scenes encountered outside:
glistened boughs and wet leaf confetti
slight fair afternoons renewed by deluge;
grassy path doesn’t grasp the shivering caress
of blue petals among sandy-blonde strands.

I'm not sure grassy works as a simple way of describing that path, maybe something that at least catches the colors, that hints at the complexity you describe afterwards, or no description at all as you do with birds and clouds.

I can’t recall the names of birds
so the best I can do is tell you
about the balance of a hollow pear
on a pencil-thin branch under siege
from fitful gusts; but I’ve left out
the tail, the way it twitches as a cat’s
ears or a TV screen stuck between signals.

For me the cat's ears really work but the TV tripped me. Although I pictured the flicker, in all my years I've never seen a TV do that. I've heard a radio flicker between stations but not a TV. Since it did give me the flicker it may be inconsequential, just saying.

The names of clouds escape me, dissipate
into gray passages in my heavy textbook
of thoughts; I see the sun-yellow highlight
bright on the crest of the word to express
this lock of wool tethered to an invisible line
and lured across the crayon sky, unspooling
until wafted – the impression fading to forgotten.


I really like how each first line progresses, not knowing to not remembering to a wisp of something that needs to be chased down.

Thank you for posting this, looking forward to being able to reread it.