Breathless

[tweetywrites]

I like how you weave back and forth between earth and the experience of living on it. I wonder what would happen if you removed all adjectives and adverbs, then see which ones bear adding back in again. Sometimes these descriptive words can get in the way and lessen the impact. I hope you keep writing here. You have a good sense for narration in this poem.

Thank you so much for taking the time to provide feedback! Yes, I often notice that my poems tend to be on the wordy end, and that's a very interesting way to ensure my poem is more precise. Will do