12-19-2025, 06:19 AM
It feels to me as if the poem is clearing its throat a lot in the first stanza/grouping. I think the opening line is arresting, but it does feel incongruous to begin a (nicely written, by the way) love poem. Though it’s not explicit, your lover is described in erotic terms so yeah a bit incongruous? I am a little bit of a prude, though. I’m working on it