12-12-2025, 02:24 PM
I read this many times it is very emotional, I think that the cathartic nature of poetic expression can often lead us away from the message or point of the piece. I feel the essence of your poem but I think maybe which is the first step (I humbly say) we write what we see and feel and satisfying our feelings is first draft, we know the message in our mind and heart but that message must jump off the page and engage not just reflect a very singular very personal moment unless you paint that personal moment as a picture we all see clearly. You will I believe re write this as we all do and play with it and I know when you finish this piece it will really resonate…..the Sun and her flowers by RUPI KAUR is a brilliant work in this vein. Please do not be offended by my humble take on your work it is expressive and I look forward to your future posts.