12-11-2025, 11:01 AM
I like it! I don't know what you're talking about, but as I read it, both the meter and rhyme work like a charm. The only hiccup for me was where the word "ripples" seems to mess up the meter. But as a fellow "old fart" I feel we have a kinship in terms of our predilection for rhyme and meter.
As Busker notes, there is confusion about cat vs fish. So don't be afraid to be more forthright. After all, The Duel by Eugene Field (featuring a couple of domestic critters) lets even children immediately know what's going on. And his poem has lasted for well over a century.
As Busker notes, there is confusion about cat vs fish. So don't be afraid to be more forthright. After all, The Duel by Eugene Field (featuring a couple of domestic critters) lets even children immediately know what's going on. And his poem has lasted for well over a century.