My grandfather's stories

[MidaPoems]

[quote="whisperer" pid='275877' dateline='1763210068']
My grandfather told me stories
of bravery, and bombs, and bullets.
A cold that seeped deep into your bones
like a sickness without a cure, 
wet boots he couldn't change
and a uniform that wasn't his.
Stories of new friends,
laughing and lively 
dying everyday 
while fighting a faceless foe.


He faced this world with silence
No box of badges and berets. 
"Why would I want to remember 
the worst years of my life?"
and his thoughts
took his voice away again. 
He told me the Yankees would 
win the World Series
then call them bums when they didn't.
He watched hockey in French, 
though he didn't know a word,
and spoke of our Prime Minister 
like they were drinking buddies
decades ago.



He died with family,
not war buddies or 
Brothers in arms,
in a simple suit
with no rank, no insignia.
No poppy, no wreath, 
no bayonet. 
Just an old face 
that found peace. 


"The Ultimate Sacrifice "
rolls out of our mouths 
with obligation.
Our only battle now is with our own guilt
while we stand bored
thinking about the rest of the day.
Trumpets try to take us back to
cold muddy fields,
but our warm jackets and dry boots
won't allow it.

---

I'd say the first stanza has 2 "and" that aren't really necessary.
A uniform that wasn't his
Of bravery, bombs, and bullets
It reads better, easier in my opinion.
same can be applied for this line  and his thoughts

In this line, the repetition could be lost, I think, and still hold the same value.
no rank, no insignia.
No poppy, no wreath, 
No bayonet. 

I'm not forcing you to do anything. It's just what I would make from it. So it could become something like this:

No rank, nor insignia
No poppy, nor wreath
absent from his bayonet.

Otherwise, it's solid work.

---

Keep on writing. I won't go in rhyme, rhythm, meter, cause I'm sick and thusa bit lazy at the moment.