My Tongue is a Dam

[Todd]

Thanks Todd. I really appreciate the time you took on this and deeply grateful for the feedback. Glad some things landed as I’d hoped and some elements still to work on. I find myself meandering into prose and abstract often in my writing, and find them hard to spot when I do (any tips?!)…

Hi, that happens to me too especially in early drafts. I'm not sure what your process is but for me I'm sort of scaffolding the piece and when I do that, I do use either a sort of shorthand (which presents as abstractions) or I lean a bit into prose because I'm flatly describing for myself what I'm trying to convey.

I don't worry about if it's there initially. I just edit it out. This is purely subjective to the person, but I read it aloud and say to myself that's vague, or that reads flat, meh, or who cares. Then I think if there's an image that does what I'm asking the flat line to do. Then I look at the image and say is that in the same tone, register and temperature that I'm going with?

I have less in the way of tips and more just compulsive editing. In fact, when you're looking at critiques, I would suggest not to just focus on the advice people give you. Focus on what they didn't comment on. What not commenting usually means is that it's a serviceable part of the writing but not much better.

I was working with a great poet in a workshop one on one, and she pointed out flaws in my poem and I'd fix them. She'd point out the great lines, but then I noticed that there were parts she didn't comment on at all. Think acceptable filler. So, I focused on making those better. Kind of a make every line your best line (now I realize that isn't entirely possible because some lines are for setup). Still, it's a good habit to get into.

It's all in the editing.

Hope some of that ramble helped.

Best,

Todd