To You who hold the Key (New Version)

[l.i.am]

To You who hold the Key

Here I am beneath a twilight, wondering still before the starlight,
Dream-born eyes so twist my sonder that I vainly hoped to see
Through this glass beside my doorway biting gaze that tempts betray
Ties of want that may just one day set my captive spirit free;
Someday meet those knowing gazes— O how sweet it might just be
For You who hold the Key.

Peering simply through the mirror gulled by days of yore held dearer,
Here lie skies of heaven: noble crosses line a faraway sea,
Flawless seraph lilts a song for those that pass the hazy shore,
Gaze that shows me all I long for, wishing O that I could see
Binds of blood that quell my yearning, holding close what stillness could be
With You who hold the Key.

Hear this voice of mercy guilting, veiling wonder into wilting,
Song so vivid hollows, carving sense that only I could see—
Horror spreads its fingers gripping, winds my blood that burns from ripping,
Hear my heartbeat slowly tripping, stripping all that I ought to be—
Void of pity O how could I? Doubting what we're meant to be
Dread. Save You who hold the Key.

Winding through a labyrinth coiling, heaven's sky turns livid boiling,
All is gone as quagmire closes, futile trying still to flee
Desolation, chorus dying— voices all but liquefying—
Desolation terrifying smothers worthless every plea—
smothers every worthless plea yet blest I might still be
Through You who hold the Key.

Peering simply past the mirror, daybreak livens never nearer
Doubting shadows drawn from moonlight. Empty; only ever me—
But this solemn meadow still holds neither souls nor marigolds,
Never knowing what it holds, You. Who else could it ever be?
Nothing truer nor less forlorn, dreaming what could only be
You. Who ever held the Key—

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Curious in particular about interpretations, any egregious metrical hiccups and just.. overall feedback. Thanks!

Edits:
S1L1: wondering faint before the starlight, -> wondering still before the starlight,
S1L2: Dream-born eyes so twist my sonder, vainly I so hoped to see -> Dream-born eyes so twist my sonder that I vainly hoped to see
S1L3: glinting gaze that tempts -> biting gaze that tempts
S1L4: may just someday -> may just one day
S3L2: Song so vivid quaintly hollows, sense that only I could foresee— -> Song so vivid hollows, carving sense that only I could see—
S3L3: wound my blood -> winds my blood
S3L6: Dread. Sans You who hold the Key. -> Dread. Save You who hold the Key.
S4L2: This and more as quagmire closes, futile even trying to flee -> All is gone as quagmire closes, futile trying still to flee
S5L4: Never knowing what it beholds, You. Who else could it be? -> Never knowing what it holds, You. Who else could it ever be?