11-10-2025, 11:01 PM
I think this poem captures the essence of the fear we all feel when putting our words out into the world. There are few among us who will disagree with the pain of a best friend's critique.
I agree with some of the previous comments about condensing this. I think some of the repetitions for impact actually end up detracting from the power of the message. For instance, the repeated thoughts in the first stanza - could you play with this to make it more powerful?
I was a little distracted by the capitalization of your lines. Some used caps and others didn't. I think there was an intention behind this, but I can't see it. I'm guilty of this myself when I write, so it's something I'm learning to spot as I read.
Finally, I would love to know: is your argument that insecurity is a good thing or a bad thing? You say it's better than a friend's criticism, but is it really? Does the inner voice offer a greater truth or treat you with more respect? I'd love to see this conflict explored in more depth here. You allude to it, but perhaps it could be a battle between confidence and insecurity?
I agree with some of the previous comments about condensing this. I think some of the repetitions for impact actually end up detracting from the power of the message. For instance, the repeated thoughts in the first stanza - could you play with this to make it more powerful?
I was a little distracted by the capitalization of your lines. Some used caps and others didn't. I think there was an intention behind this, but I can't see it. I'm guilty of this myself when I write, so it's something I'm learning to spot as I read.
Finally, I would love to know: is your argument that insecurity is a good thing or a bad thing? You say it's better than a friend's criticism, but is it really? Does the inner voice offer a greater truth or treat you with more respect? I'd love to see this conflict explored in more depth here. You allude to it, but perhaps it could be a battle between confidence and insecurity?