echo

[adat]

Thank you very much for this thorough feedback; i appreciate your criticisms! i was unsure if this poem was "great" or "garbage", so it is good to have a reality check

The short lines were intentional, keeping it three syllables per line, which i think works read out loud but perhaps not so much on paper (or screen). "Black hole radiation" required a cheat, which evidently did not work

i'm going to work on tightening this up, your feedback is very helpful in that regard

thanks!