In the Quiet

[brynmawr1]

I think about the spaces between words,   Consider finding a more interesting word than 'think'. eg 'feel' but better!
the way they stretch like miles of road  great image  consider changing 'the way' to 'how'
no one drives anymore.   'anymore' could be considered implied.  In my head i want to put a 'Where' at the line break

Even the air has forgotten   and I want to continue the space metaphor by changing 'forgotten' to something like 'thinned' which would require a rework of next line that might set up the turn into S3 better.  While I like the idea behind this stanza, I am not sure the personification of air here works that well within the context of the rest of the poem
how to breathe.   

If not for my children,
I might have stopped  want to add a 'there' at the end of this line
letting the years wash my memory clean

like the smoothness of stone  consider changing 'like' to 'to'
under tireless waters.  great ending

Hi Todd,

I also hope someone more qualified comes along, but this is my two cents.  I only offer the above suggestions as areas to think about and as a window into how I see the poem and what might make it better to my ear.  Just a bit about adding 'where' and 'there' at the end of lines.  They aren't the strongest words for a line break.  My thinking is that they help sonically to tie the poem together and also subliminally reinforce the idea that the space between words as a location one could travel to.

My comments aside, the poem is very good as written.  Almost forgot to mention that the title is good, too.
Hope you find something useful here.
Though we've never "met", good to see you back!
Bryn