10-19-2025, 07:46 AM
really like the openness and honesty here. The voice feels very human — like the reader is hearing a real internal conversation, not a performance.
The middle section (“Like if my best friend…”) hit me hardest. It captures that fear of being dismissed by someone we care about better than a lot of poems I’ve read on the same theme.
If you ever revise, you might experiment with tightening a few of the shorter lines just for flow — maybe combine a few that naturally run together when read aloud. But that’s minor; the strength is in how genuine this feels.
Overall, I appreciate that you didn’t hide behind metaphor. You said something real, and that always lands with me.
The middle section (“Like if my best friend…”) hit me hardest. It captures that fear of being dismissed by someone we care about better than a lot of poems I’ve read on the same theme.
If you ever revise, you might experiment with tightening a few of the shorter lines just for flow — maybe combine a few that naturally run together when read aloud. But that’s minor; the strength is in how genuine this feels.
Overall, I appreciate that you didn’t hide behind metaphor. You said something real, and that always lands with me.