Minerva, A Boat

[Bunx]

a boat
with holes in its hull
too many to count
some are small
others large
shallow and deep
even
all the way through 

a boat
at once here and not here
in drydock being readied
and at the same time
already at sea 
in a storm
no safe harbor in sight

a boat
on which we labor
spotting the holes
caulking them closed
scanning to see
where they jump to next 


even the dents
even just the scratches
even there, where surely no water could pass
we must fill fill fill
old sad man with a boulder
knows how to whistle
a shipbuilder's tune

this boat 
as it is being readied 
before its first day at sea 
is already a thousand days old 
far from land 
ageing by orders of magnitude 
with each 
line in this poem 

so far and so long
that even scratches 
will sob 
tears of regret and 
a certain future reproach
as air and brine
illicitly trade

a boat 
that sank before 
its maiden voyage 
but that can be repaired 
and in so doing 
we will see 
the ocean floor 
is really just 
the surface of the sea 
on which it 
was always meant
to sail 

so mind those holes 
the most dangerous one 
will always be 
not the biggest 
not the deepest 
just the one 
most likely to be 
overlooked

Overall I think the substance and themes of the poem are good. My challenge would be to the word the poem without saying "a boat"

Holes in hull
too many to count.
Small, large, shallow, deep,
and all the way through.

Sometimes here,
though not always.
When at drydock
prepped and assembled,
simultaneously in storm
no hobor in sight.

I paraphrased to hopefully give you some ideas on how rewording can effect tone.

Anyways thanks for the read