07-23-2025, 11:37 AM
You forgive for yourself not them. They may not give a shit about you or your forgiveness.
The other person isn't responsible for how you feel about them, and forgiving them doesn't make you responsible for them.
You can't help how you were harmed by what they did. The person who harmed is already dead the moment after they harmed you. The harm is then what counts, not them.
Your continued appeal toward them is a kind of love or at least cry for validation from that person or an image you have or had of them. Either that or a wrathful need for revenge; they need to hurt and they need to suffer the assumed indignity of apology or acknowledgement of guilt.
These things twist and twist and twist until you are as concerned about that person as much or even more so than yourself or even others.
Forgiving the entire situation, all the aspects of the society and world where such harm can take place, could take the weight off of you. The doubts about how you should feel.
You feel how you feel, it is what it is. You can forgive yourself in every moment when you feel confused. You can forgive your so-called unconscious levels. You can forgive yourself for feeling that you should know better or should suffer or should not suffer.
How could you do this to me? How could all the people that do these things?
Anyway, as you said, the body simply has to give way. The intellectual levels are circuits that loop and lick and flick and something dawns on you, and you take that deep body breath of relief.
The intellectual level isn't making a choice either. Else it would do it immediately.
The other person isn't responsible for how you feel about them, and forgiving them doesn't make you responsible for them.
You can't help how you were harmed by what they did. The person who harmed is already dead the moment after they harmed you. The harm is then what counts, not them.
Your continued appeal toward them is a kind of love or at least cry for validation from that person or an image you have or had of them. Either that or a wrathful need for revenge; they need to hurt and they need to suffer the assumed indignity of apology or acknowledgement of guilt.
These things twist and twist and twist until you are as concerned about that person as much or even more so than yourself or even others.
Forgiving the entire situation, all the aspects of the society and world where such harm can take place, could take the weight off of you. The doubts about how you should feel.
You feel how you feel, it is what it is. You can forgive yourself in every moment when you feel confused. You can forgive your so-called unconscious levels. You can forgive yourself for feeling that you should know better or should suffer or should not suffer.
How could you do this to me? How could all the people that do these things?
Anyway, as you said, the body simply has to give way. The intellectual levels are circuits that loop and lick and flick and something dawns on you, and you take that deep body breath of relief.
The intellectual level isn't making a choice either. Else it would do it immediately.