Wardour street

[busker]

Something of a rewrite.



In the small Soho cafe, you sat,

a crippled explosion of joy.

The waiters circled you like acolytes,

charmed serpents, supplicant at your feet.

Too close to your sun, I trembled

and like the wax that held

your wings to my shoulders,

I melted, combusted, skin

sloughed from my body,

blood boiled and burned,

my bones so much ash,

falling to drift out the doorway

to mingle with the crowds in the street.

Hi James - the way we do it here is that the rewrite goes into the original post at the top of the thread. What you do is you write 

[Title here] [Edit 1.0 (or whatever number you'd like)]

...
[revised poem here]
...

[Original title][Original]
...
[original poem here]
...

You can also hide the Original poem with

tags if you wish
We do it this way to make it easier for someone to see what the original post was, what the revised version is, and what's changed.