2025 NaPM 10 April

[carahmellow]

This was an extra personal prompt for me considering I have dealt with OCD my entire life, and had this specific theme in my early 20's.... "What is love, and how do I know that I am feeling it?" Boy oh boy was it a doozy... so I wrote a little poem about my experience. Maybe some of you can relate, even if not for the theme, but the rumination OCD can bring.  Me and the person I wrote this poem about is now my husband, we have 2 kids together and have been together for 20 years. 

What is Love

As someone who suffers from OCD,
questions like "What is love?"
torture me.
At 20, I fell hard,
but he fell harder.
Then a thought came to me,
a rumination starter.

Do I love him?
Am I sure?
Are these feelings secure?
How do I know that it's love?
It seems so grey,
so obscure. 

Every minute, 
every day, even 
in dreams.
I analyzed my love;
pulled at its seams.
I was in hell,
empty,
a depersonalized shell.
When I was with him,
I’d obsess,
and continue to dwell.

Because love is a concept,
a feeling—intangible,
elusive and silent,
mysterious, untestable.

So I changed directions,
focused on facts,
loyalty, stability,
ignoring abstracts.
For love is not clear,
it doesn't hold much weight.
It's not that important
when picking your mate.

It should live in the back,
floating quietly with ease—
Just a silly little concept
that drifts by in life's breeze.