The Ballad of Schatz and Waksman
#2
(01-14-2025, 05:02 AM)TrevorConway Wrote:  Among the great exponents of science
are those who grapple hard for glory
and those who find it snatched away,
with names confined to dusty books,
brief mentions, at best;
and few, if any, hear their story: - don't need this stanza, the rest of the poem implies this
 
Albert Schatz, entranced by soil;  - this seems like a good starting point, I like the poetic language in this stanza
he mulched his way through masses of muck
and found a microbe he supposed
could halt the charge of tuberculosis.
Within a matter of months,
a saviour appeared: streptomycin.
 
His supervisor, one Selman Waksman,
assumed control of the clinical trials.
Waksman and received a Nobel Prize,
and As for Schatz,
long after Waksman’s death,
he earned a kind of mangled amends:
the American Society for Microbiology
bestowed on him its highest award:
the Selman Waksman medal,
named after the supervisor who... 
I like the story you've told here, i just feel as though it suffered from being too clinical, the repetition of Waksman didn't really help the last stanza and I think the poem would work better with the 'reveal' being right at the very end.

I had written a much more comprehensive reply but the internet stole it, so that's why this one may seem so brief.
feedback award wae aye man ye radgie
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Messages In This Thread
RE: The Ballad of Schatz and Waksman - by Magpie - 01-14-2025, 11:47 PM
RE: The Ballad of Schatz and Waksman - by busker - 01-25-2025, 04:09 PM
RE: The Ballad of Schatz and Waksman - by busker - 01-28-2025, 05:55 AM



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