11-26-2024, 12:58 AM
I honestly agree with MP that the lines
the sound of your name
still gives me bruises.
are great and salvageable. To me, the problem is that it's a great line, but not necessarily a great poem. Who are these people in this poem? What's the context, where are we going with this idea . . . who has time for this in an attention economy? Attention is now power, money, and privilege and you'd better be constantly scrambling for the next idea you can meme. You got a great line, pair it with 13 different images and share, like, and subscribe.
And yes, we all want to wrap ourselves up in our fuzzy bubble where there is no criticism and no verbal violence as implied by Woke culture. But there's a larger problem. I was just having a debate with a friend about the "build a wall" motto that was central to the first Trump campaign and the embarrassing response on the Left: "All walls are immoral." Really, it should have been, "Wasting time and money building a wall as a national symbol is a stupid idea" but, as my friend pointed out, that's too many words and requires too much explanation.
I bet I've lost half of the two people reading this post already anyway.
the sound of your name
still gives me bruises.
are great and salvageable. To me, the problem is that it's a great line, but not necessarily a great poem. Who are these people in this poem? What's the context, where are we going with this idea . . . who has time for this in an attention economy? Attention is now power, money, and privilege and you'd better be constantly scrambling for the next idea you can meme. You got a great line, pair it with 13 different images and share, like, and subscribe.
And yes, we all want to wrap ourselves up in our fuzzy bubble where there is no criticism and no verbal violence as implied by Woke culture. But there's a larger problem. I was just having a debate with a friend about the "build a wall" motto that was central to the first Trump campaign and the embarrassing response on the Left: "All walls are immoral." Really, it should have been, "Wasting time and money building a wall as a national symbol is a stupid idea" but, as my friend pointed out, that's too many words and requires too much explanation.
I bet I've lost half of the two people reading this post already anyway.
(11-25-2024, 05:13 PM)Magpie Wrote: It seems like poetry for blog world.
Blogs and other social media platforms kind of ruined elements of the poetry world by making people think they are good poets. Post a shit poem on a blog and loads of people will click the like button and then leave glorious comments of adulation. It's what people want from the world these days and it's such a woke culture that criticism is strongly discouraged or in most cases not wanted at all.
Had those two examples been posted on here
the sound of your name
still gives me bruises.
Has potential as a senryu type of poem if it was edited
the sound of your name
gives me
-- bruises
but I wouldn't say put it in a book with a load of others.
and
i'm not a cure
for your boredom.
Is cliché and impossible to save