Mr. Travis

[Funkeldunks]

The details are attractive. Though the presentation feels a bit disjointed. His lack of family seems important and maybe should get its own verse to explain why? I feel the “and” at the beginning of the second verse isn’t needed. It’s a solid statement on its own. The 4th verse could do without the “even”. Since there is no mention of other actions or help from the teacher. I get the point of the last statement, but It doesn’t show that he disappeared while you were changing. The implication is that you noticed only later that he stopped showing up. The while we were changing implies an immediacy.
This is a heavy piece of work. It hits close to home for me.