06-15-2024, 11:27 AM
Welcome to the site, IK. Well done responding to CRNDLSM's advice so thank you for your input on those threads.
I will try to get you started with some of my thinking below. It's fine to take or leave any feedback you receive here. My unsolicited advice is not to rush into an edit. A good poem oftentimes needs steeping.
I will try to get you started with some of my thinking below. It's fine to take or leave any feedback you receive here. My unsolicited advice is not to rush into an edit. A good poem oftentimes needs steeping.
(06-15-2024, 05:27 AM)Ikki777 Wrote: Ear bent to a black hole
Whirring depthlessness I feel like tho "depthlessness" is the correct word, it's not easy on the tongue
Explorations of heaven
Reveries on the nature of light consider CAPS on "Nature" and "Light" for effect
Temporal ripples
Glimmer through the concrete you can do better than "glimmer" here
Oceanic fabric
Gates arise nope. gates open, gates close, gates get left ajar, - "arise" is distracting
All one ought to do is ask