Itinerary

[brynmawr1]

Watermelon juice breakfast
insisted on a day at the beach  Love the 'watermelon juice' as the instigator
with your love.               not sure about this line.  for me is discordant with the feel of the rest.  maybe it's the 'your' which seems to refer to the reader

Unpacking wet towels, the zebra mussel cut  wet towels is a nice indication of the time shift and I like the detail of the cut on the foot.
shifts your weight to the left foot
as sunburn peels your neck.   consider tightening this line by cutting 'as' and use peeling.  I'm waffling on it myself.

When she walks in the room,
headache corkscrews the wine   This is my favorite line.  Super clever!
and you pour a glass alone.       and a nice reveal at the end.

Hi WJ,
I enjoyed this very much.  Very relatable, a nice vignette of how relationships aren't always what we want.  Lots of nice subtle detail to clue the reader along with some nice original wording.  My only real sticking point was L3 in S1.  Like I said, just doesn't seem to fit.  Also, I think L1 S3 could be better, maybe less pedestrian (see what I did there?).  Of course I have no suggestions!
Thanks for the read,
bryn
Of course while I'm writing this one of my cats is loving up on me and being very annoying.  Life is metaphor for life.