A Sworn Statement (new title: Fool's Gold)

[CircleWalker]

A Sworn Statement

Powdered pearl dusts the sky
to the west, backlit by dawn,
a hemisphere of dominance
dancing to the tune of caffeine
and consciousness before the fall
into social confusion fragments
the solitude of first awakening.

Memory arrives with its clattering 
like the wheels of  a wooden cart
weighed down with the revolution
of bodily functions, heart and lungs
demanding recognition and return.
Flesh and blood suck up gravity
until muscles rebel against immobility.

Eyes revert to the day’s pavement,
ears to the interruptions of action.
Words flee back into the silence
of thought, uncertain, self-doubting.
I rise up and the moment has vanished
into footsteps, voices, and disbelief.
This is the testimony of my loss.

I am not a poet's poet. And I'm fine with that. It's not my goal. With that said, I find it difficult to critique an outstanding work such as this.  Yet, I will give it a go.

Overall, it flows beautifully ... smoothly rolling off the tongue IMO ... painting pictures in the mind as well as describing what seems to me to be a struggling transition to awaken (to simply get out of bed) ... to greet a day which presents itself with more than the usual routine of existence ... social confusion fragments ... Words flee back into silence of thought, uncertain, self-doubting ... disbelief.

I found the Title confusing until I had read it 2 or 3 times. Then, at least for me, I found the word that ties to it ... testimony. A Sworn Statement ... a testimony ... the testimony of my loss.

Also, I agree with Semicircle. The last 2 lines of the 2nd stanza "Flesh and blood ..." are, in a stand alone way, excellent. However, they audibly detract from the flow (if my phrasing makes sense). They can be dropped completely IMO and the stanza would seem complete and meaningful and smooth. I'm not sure exactly how to put this, but saying "suck up" is too abrupt IMO both audibly and conceptually. There may be a smoother way to phrase it, but those are my thoughts.

Finally, I will add that I love the alliteration in the first 2 stanzas. At least I believe that is the proper term. Powdered/pearl ... dusts/dawn/dominance/dancing ... caffeine/consciousness/confusion ... etc.

Thanks for sharing.