04-21-2024, 12:34 AM
The tears don’t come
so unexpectedly now
only memories materialize
from the void where you once dwelt:
riding in the truck, you driving,
me with Buster in my lap,
on our way to cut cedar.
Buster’s anus made an imprint
on my denim sleeve
I displayed it for you,
named it the Asshole of Turin,
we laughed together,
the longest laugh I ever inspired in you.
That was just months
before fentanyl transformed you
into a statue, laid on a gurney.
Covid times, we were not allowed
a goodbye kiss, I remember just
that your lips were dried and cracked,
couldn’t look for long and not embrace you,
so crumbled into a heaving mass of sobs,
crying out a hundred senseless threats.
Those images are buried now,
exhumed to display the violence
of mourning’s birth. As for me,
I’m back in the truck
with my son again,
laughing.
so unexpectedly now
only memories materialize
from the void where you once dwelt:
riding in the truck, you driving,
me with Buster in my lap,
on our way to cut cedar.
Buster’s anus made an imprint
on my denim sleeve
I displayed it for you,
named it the Asshole of Turin,
we laughed together,
the longest laugh I ever inspired in you.
That was just months
before fentanyl transformed you
into a statue, laid on a gurney.
Covid times, we were not allowed
a goodbye kiss, I remember just
that your lips were dried and cracked,
couldn’t look for long and not embrace you,
so crumbled into a heaving mass of sobs,
crying out a hundred senseless threats.
Those images are buried now,
exhumed to display the violence
of mourning’s birth. As for me,
I’m back in the truck
with my son again,
laughing.