03-22-2024, 12:17 AM
Thanks Tranquil, I agree with most of your points. I think I need to add some more (still optimistic) tension somewhere to this.
Your wonder about lingering on the book - in my mind, you are pretending to read the book because you are subtly scanning the room waiting for the date to arrive. Then when they arrive, you linger on the book pretending to be casual, even though you have already noticed them enter.
I'm not sure if I need to say that outright somehow, I think it might be implied just by pretending to read the book, but it may not be - and it is a bit of a clunky thing to try and say.
Your wonder about lingering on the book - in my mind, you are pretending to read the book because you are subtly scanning the room waiting for the date to arrive. Then when they arrive, you linger on the book pretending to be casual, even though you have already noticed them enter.
I'm not sure if I need to say that outright somehow, I think it might be implied just by pretending to read the book, but it may not be - and it is a bit of a clunky thing to try and say.