Run on

[Tiger the Lion]

Hey guys. This little segment is a snippet from a much larger project. I was playing with it earlier and had a couple questions for you guys. Not looking for crit so much as perspective. While I was toying with this section I realized I'd written one veeeeery long sentence. (not including the God love him). 

My question is, as a reader I feel like it's way too much to naturally breathe through, but as a writer I feel like that's part of my voice. I was just hoping for some first impressions because I'm sure it will help with the direction of the larger project. 

Thanks for your time. 

(excerpt from "Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast")

Dad was a sentimental sap;
a Teddy Bear                                                   God, love him.
posing as a Teddy Boy
till you tuned the radio
to some sad love song
and his cotton stuffing would
           breach the seams
like a Scarecrow ripped apart
by flying monkeys.