A New Wrinkle (edit4)

[TranquillityBase]

edit3;


I wear the darkly shaded eyes of age:
a newly sagging epicanthic fold–
so few discarded decades since my birth–
surprised me.  Shall I yield to weary rage
embittered at this mark of growing old
or welcome rest’s approach a shadow’s-worth?

---

Yes, you found the off-key spot!  So weary resignation instead?

I like "discarded decades".  "resignation" probably doesn't need "weary" if you're going to drop "rage".

One other thing that's kind of bothered me from the first (but not enough until now to make me mention it) is those dashes.  I'd like to see a more direct detachment of that third line.  I keep overlooking the dash as I read it aloud in my head and end up with "since my birth surprised me".

I wear the darkly shaded eyes of age:
a newly sagging epicanthic fold
(so few discarded decades since my birth)
surprised me.  Shall I yield to weary rage
embittered at this mark of growing old
or welcome rest’s approach a shadow’s-worth?