January Oracle (edit)

[brynmawr1]

January Oracle

I throw my wheat pennies,     comma?
calculate my mortal future in broken
or unbroken lines.

I find myself in a ravine.
I must follow it to the end,
like a stream, filling each ragged hole
so I can move on.                   before?

I have no map
only the I Ching
to withstand the delusions,
the jagged walls of this path.

Beyond I traverse a meadow
where dragons have fought.
I step over the splashes
of yellow and black blood.

I close the book. I’m  left standing
on the shore of a lake,
before a mountain’s struggle with heaven,      under? or 'in the shadow' or something like that
and the question of the next second.            

Waiting to See the Specialist

Conversational zen
is what I need to get through
this ravine, enough magic
to follow it to the end
a stream, filling each ragged hole
so I can move on.

I have no map
only the I Ching
to withstand the delusions
the jagged walls of this path.

I throw my wheat pennies
calculate my mortal future in broken
or unbroken lines.

The Ching never fails me 
as I traverse a meadow
where dragons have fought.
I step over the splashes
of yellow and black blood

into a time of waiting
waiting for the approach of an end
and a way forward
past the merciless lights 
of the specialist’s eyes.

Hi TqB,
Started my suggestions this morning but couldn't finish til now.  Made some minor edits to your revision above.  I think overall both versions read well, but I wanted to echo my initial comments that I liked how the addition of 'the specialist' made it more poignant somehow providing good context.  I like both endings, esp the mountain image and the specialist's eyes.  regarding the ravine, I think trying to add a line to convey a maze like quality to the ravine might be helpful.
Good stuff,
bryn

---

January Oracle

I throw my wheat pennies,     comma?
calculate my mortal future in broken
or unbroken lines.

I find myself in a ravine.
I must follow it to the end,
like a stream, filling each ragged hole
so I can move on.                   before?

I have no map
only the I Ching
to withstand the delusions,
the jagged walls of this path.

Beyond I traverse a meadow
where dragons have fought.
I step over the splashes
of yellow and black blood.

I close the book. I’m  left standing
on the shore of a lake,
before a mountain’s struggle with heaven,      under? or 'in the shadow' or something like that
and the question of the next second.            

Waiting to See the Specialist

Conversational zen
is what I need to get through
this ravine, enough magic
to follow it to the end
a stream, filling each ragged hole
so I can move on.

I have no map
only the I Ching
to withstand the delusions
the jagged walls of this path.

I throw my wheat pennies
calculate my mortal future in broken
or unbroken lines.

The Ching never fails me 
as I traverse a meadow
where dragons have fought.
I step over the splashes
of yellow and black blood

into a time of waiting
waiting for the approach of an end
and a way forward
past the merciless lights 
of the specialist’s eyes.

Hi TqB,
Started my suggestions this morning but couldn't finish til now.  Made some minor edits to your revision above.  I think overall both versions read well, but I wanted to echo my initial comments that I liked how the addition of 'the specialist' made it more poignant somehow providing good context.  I like both endings, esp the mountain image and the specialist's eyes.  regarding the ravine, I think trying to add a line to convey a maze like quality to the ravine might be helpful.
Good stuff,
bryn

Addendum.  I like Knot's arrangement.   Ending with closing the book has a nice finality.  I think you can effectively merge the two, ie bring in the specialist and keep Knot's progression.  That's your homework!  Easier being the 'teacher' than the student.   When in doubt, listen to Knot!