LPiA-23 Nov. 28

[Pike]

A Poison
 

      Here grows the cure of all, this fruit divine,

      Fair to the eye, inviting to the taste,

      Of virtue to make wise. What hinders, then,

     To reach, and feed at once both body and mind?*

 
 
—Oi, look at this, I cut myself.
 
                           My Queen, 
                my universe,
poke those holes in upside down—it works, my chemist said.
                                            
                                          And then, let’s watch Cocktail, eat boiled mussels, and fuck
             till we’re not fit for purpose—let's give movies stars!
 
 
 
 
 
Every technique alleviates any relief
from what’s already always, forever,
                                                    and eternally,
                         a brief despair.




*from Paradise Lost

This poem really interests me, especially for its whimsy.  Even though all the characters seem to come from a strange alternate universe, they are grounded in ours by the quote from Paradise Lost.  So the hunt begins with an "Oi!", who's the Queen & Queen of what?  Then the "chemist" (so many memorable chemists out there, how to choose?) and his odd prescription.  Then the climax, literal and figurative with the comedian Cocktail. "I'd cut "Let's give the movies stars"....it dates the poem, which is otherwise timeless.

The above is not criticism but an atempt at detailing the wonder I felt reading this.  The last bit about "Every technique..." is appropriate but heavy going". Maybe another Milton quote instead?



 

Thanks. It was niggling at me that I had missed this "A poison" prompt. I couldn't connect with it. Until yesterday when I was looking at my bookshelf and saw The Poetical Works of John Milton [Everyman's Library edition—1925], and thought "the serpent, the tree, the fruit..." and that was my "in". It took me longer to decide on the quote than to write the rest of the poem. I was perilously close to just sitting there and reading the whole of Paradise Lost, again. 
I agree that the "let's give movies stars" line can be cut. It does date the poem and that hadn't occurred to me before
I also agree that the last bit "every technique..." could be cut, changed, or something else. And I actually wanted to end on a Milton quote from the Serpent. Something like: "your fear of death itself removes the fear." But, I didn't want it to be more quote than poem, as the "my Queen, my universe" is obliquely quoting the serpent when referring to Eve as "Queen of this universe". 

Anyway, thank you for reading it and taking the time to comment.