Pillar and Fire - edit2

[DonMar]

Pillar and Fire


Many early mornings to the south
I see a rising pillar of white cloud
superimposed, in frost or fickle sun,
on fading stars or rainbow-borrowed blue.

Like that in the Testament this sign
shows presence of unseen, upholding power:
an ark of electricity which warms
and cools and unifies each hearth and heart.

It does not move or nightly shine with fire–
its deep reactor rages silently
as moderated, unconsumed, it glows
invisibly in covenant restraint.

The revised version sounds excellent to me. Not a word is wasted, and the tightness of the whole makes the third stanza stand out, with its invisible, silent threat. 'Its deep reactor rages silently' is a stunning image.
The alliteration and assonance throughout the piece contribute to the smooth, compelling flow.
I'm enjoying the strong biblical allusion in the second and third stanzas, and the human factor in 'an ark of electricity which warms/and cools and unifies each hearth and heart'. Lovely imagery.