Amazonian Delivery - Edit

[Knot]

Hi duke,
good light verse, fun read.

Just a couple of niggles.
I'm with Wjames on 'traditional' and I'd add 'skewered' to that. Also, not convinced by the 'fish hook' ending. Doesn't really land.


Tribes in jungles equatorial
have, from times primordial
dined on manna, piscatorial
(Fact! Not merely editorial.)

First they poison creek or pond
underneath a forest frond,
then select from fish they've stunned
just the choicest, most rotund.

Tribesmen long ago discovered .............. not sure about 'tribesmen' after 'Tribes' (maybe 'Folk here'?)
small fry swim away, recovered–
for next year’s river-delivered
feast of fillets charred and skewered. ....... definitely needs a bit more work

So sustainable a system
we, half blinded by our wisdom
ban, and have the cops arrest ‘em
(as for fish hooks, they detest ‘em) ........ maybe there's a condescending 'bless 'em' ending?



Best, Knot


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