Amazonian Delivery - Edit

[Wjames]

Amazonian Delivery


Tribes from times primordial
in jungles equatorial
dine well on piscatorial
endeavors long traditional: I like the first three lines. This half-rhyme doesn't quite work to my ears, I think it might be better with no rhyme at all on this line.

they poison creek or pond
underneath a forest frond, 'beneath' would read cleaner than 'underneath' to me
then select from fish they stunned
for the choicest, most rotund. This line made me smile, I love the rhyme - I don't know if you need 'for'.

Small fry swim away, recovered–
tribesmen long ago discovered–
for next year’s river-delivered
feast of fillets charred and skewered. 'simmered' might work better for the rhyme than 'skewered'?

So sustainable a system
which we moderns in our wisdom I don't think 'which' adds anything
make illegal and arrest ‘em 'make illegal' is a little clunky, I think it might read cleaner replacing it with 'forbidden'
(as for fish hooks, they detest ‘em). 

Hey Duke, this is a fun one, thanks for sharing.